Back to Church
My good friend Ryan and I were talking after PrayerMoves last night. We stood, leaning against our cars in the parking lot of 710, sort of enjoying the perfect air and some too-long-in-coming conversation. Mosquitoes were out for the first time this spring and we slapped at them a bit as we verbally swatted away at a pesky discomfort that buzzes around the corner of College Ave. and Park St. quite a bit. We were trying to nail down this tension that we live with almost all the time. It’s that sense that our hearts are desperately reaching out for spiritual significance and relationships that are miles deep and genuine as leather, but we aren’t finding what we need in the places that promise to deliver them. Even in writing that last sentence I realize how hard it is to put the discomfort into words. I just can’t say it quite right. It’s like chasing a pea around a plate with a fork. It’s right there, but it’s hard to spear.
But, you’ve probably felt it…maybe when you’ve tried to hook up with a church small group that promises real friendship and support, but all you find is emotional and spiritual barbed wire. Maybe you’ve sensed it when you’ve shown up in a worship service and all of the words that are being sung and spoken are transparent and empty and thin, especially your own. Maybe you are aware of it when it occurs to you that you don’t even know these people you are supposed to be loving unconditionally, and you’re not sure you want to. Maybe it buzzes around your soul when you realize that everything you’re involved in feels flat and meaningless. You’ve felt it too, right? Please tell me you have.
Sunday, our new pastor, Bill Johnson, talked about the reasons why the Church is still worth loving. And I totally agree. I can’t say that I have always agreed or that I agree every second, or that I will always agree, but I think I have seen the alternatives enough to know that the Church is pretty lovable and upstanding and meaningful compared to other things that bring people together. We, the Church, are noble and genuine at heart, but there are some stiff addictions that we need to call out and slap down before we start looking like Jesus.
To detox, a body has to go through some things that seem radical and even unreasonable. I wonder if we, as Jesus’ Body, might not need to do some rehab before we can start to be the enticing, refreshing, restoring groups we were made to be. Maybe we need to lose ourselves a bit to find ourselves. I have some possible rehab-plan suggestions that are totally not in the “ministry plan” of any church I know of, which might be just what the therapist ordered for our many churches that make up The Church:
- What if we’d stop our obsession with church attendance for one year? Don’t publish attendance figures in the bulletin. Don’t post attendance on the website. Don’t talk about it between churches as a comparison. Don’t use it in any way that suggests that attendance is a accurate measure of success. If the crutch of attendance was kicked out from under our churches, what other things would we start paying attention to? What sensitivities would come alive that are now blind? How would it change our mission and our strategy? How would it change our willingness to risk?
- Could we declare a season of Spiritual Amnesty that gives people the chance to be pruned spiritually so new growth can appear and flourish? Could we permit each other to admit our doubts and questions and weariness, in private and public ways, without any threat of easy answers, prescriptive plans, rebuke or shame? Could we have “Doubt Services” that give people a chance to publicly admit and process their lack of faith in a safe, prayerful environment so that the process of growth and restoration and encouragement-in-the-faith could occur.
- As part of that Spiritual Amnesty season, could we encourage each other, corporately, to simultaneously wave the white flag of surrender to living behind sterile, opaque, proud facades? What if we’d invite confession in a way that lets people off-load their heavy guilt, not so that a “priest” can suggest penance, but so that together we can find the freedom of admission and the common ground of sin (See Donald Miller’s book Blue Like Jazz for evidence of this idea’s power). We all need the chance to say “I’m Doug, and I’m a sinner.” We all need to see that we’re in this together and that our sins shouldn’t keep us from living free, open,vibrant lives.
- Could we try to schedule at least half of all church activities somewhere other than the church facilities? We keep saying that the Church is not the building, but we seem rather naked without it.
- Could we do a lot of hard work to seek out those who have dropped out of church and go to them and apologize for our indifference, our inflexibility and our lack of humanity? Maybe we could ask them how we could help them grow closer to Jesus and then shut up and listen and not be defensive. Maybe we could invite them back and help them see that we need people who can’t stomach church, the way it is, in order to make it what it should be. We need them to influence “church” back to a place of honesty and warmth and spiritual purity. Those of us who are left in church right now will never be able to do that.
Even though I can’t explain the disconnect between our hearts and church very well, I think, at its heart, it has something in common with the Hebrew slaves’ insistance to create a golden calf and worship it instead of the living God. We have created a very sterile, controllable, predictable faith that looks a lot more like us than it does the all-loving, all-powerful, wild God. It makes us feel in control, but it doesn’t touch the really deep issues of life any better than we can. Deep is calling to Deep, and this golden calf that we’ve made out of church is not the Deep that satisfies. Church needs to look more like God: honest, pure, mysterious, raw, agile, energetic, open, self-less. It is going to take letting go of the comfort of control so that we can begin to look, feel and act like Jesus’ body, which is the Church.
Tags: Bill Johnson, church, Don, Donald Miller, Doug Cooper, friend ryan, Jesus, Ryan
I think that if we fully realize that the Church is a who, not a what, much of your ‘rehab’ might occur naturally.
-When we look at things as a what, size is usually of utmost importance – diamonds, automobiles, houses, lawns, couches, arenas, salaries, etc. But when we look at people, less tangible things are important and perspective is made. When the Church is treated as a what, going to it appears to be the most important aspect of faith, which seems to be emphasizing attendance. More faith = higher attendance = the church is effective.
-Things can’t be questioned, for they cannot reply. A conversation is impossible with a what. A rock is a rock; a box is a box; a car is a car. But a who? I can talk with a ‘who.’ The Church can respond, process and communicate doubts, worries, concerns of the Bridegroom. A what solves things with easy answers, prescriptive plans, rebuke and shame. A who has compassion and says “I don’t know,” “I apologize,” “Let’s ask our Christ for wisdom on that.” A who finds relevance, pliancy, and consideration. I don’t find that in many ‘whats.’
I would go as far as saying that if we realize the Church is a who: services would fade as there is no longer a product (the ‘what’) to serve to people; denominations would diminish as all Christ-followers are the Body/Church/Bride; buildings might crumble as the institution (the ‘what’ aspects) disintegrates.
May our God only bless you for your deep and prayerful insight! My husband and I are 2 of those who were “lost in the shuffle” at Park Street. For 12 years I prayed and ached for just one person to reach out and be a friend (not a social friend, but a Jesus-hearted friend). I tried small groups, Bible Studies, seminars, but came up empty. When my husband and I both had a winter of sickness, we stopped going to to church completely for awhile. I still spend time in prayer and study, but I recognize and know that I am incomplete without the Body of Christ. I have joyfully experienced that the Lord is more present where two or more are gathered, but I search for that “oneness”.
Your article tells me that I am not alone in my search. Thank you for having the courage to share from the depth of your spirit.
Bonnie – My heart aches for people like you who have deeply experienced the shortcomings of the body. I think that there is a general repentance that is in the wings where we all realize that church was never meant to be about being fed. It’s about being one as Christ’s body. We have all brought sick expectations of being fulfilled into the church building instead of simply raising Jesus up and allowing Him to be our Head and our Groom. I wrestle with what it would look like if we were to become the Church that God intended. The false pictures are too vivid and recent. But, I know that we can’t find it alone. We can only work it out as a Body if we are living as a body. If we all realize together that we are sick, we can all seek healing together. I pray that you will find a group of people that you trust enough to find that healing with!